Impossible Questions
by MarbleGlove
Summary: [The Untamed][Post-canon] Lan XiChen had been in seclusion for six months when Nie HuaiSang came to visit Cloud Recesses. Nie HuaiSang was not allowed to visit Lan XiChen, of course, but he wasn't one to follow the rules, even if he wasn't as flagrant about it as Wei WuXian.


Lan XiChen had been in seclusion for six months when Nie HuaiSang came to visit Cloud Recesses. Nie HuaiSang was not allowed to visit Lan XiChen, of course, but he wasn't one to follow the rules, even if he wasn't as flagrant about it as Wei WuXian.

Wei WuXian acted with intent and admitted to his actions and motives when he was confronted. Nie HuaiSang always apologized profusely when he was caught and blamed it all on his own ignorance. Everyone in the world knew that the Nie Sect Leader didn't know anything and couldn't be held responsible for his transgressions.

And thus he had wandered his way to the Lan Sect Leader's house, entered without invitation and sat down where he was out of sight of any casual observer passing by but could not be considered hiding.

Lan XiChen sat in meditation.

His eyes had opened briefly at Nie HuaiSang's entrance but then closed again, dismissing him.

Lan XiChen was in seclusion and refusing to acknowledge anyone.

Nie HuaiSang briefly considered just throwing himself at the older man, wrapping his arms around him and wailing that he needed his assistance. He didn't actually need assistance at the moment. If anyone did, it was Lan XiChen's own brother, Lan WangJi who could do with support. Which was one of the reasons why Nie HuaiSang was here.

Lan XiChen had killed Jin GuangYao at Nie HuaiSang's word and now he stayed in seclusion, trying to find his balance again, likely feeling like a tool used by both Jin GuangYao and Nie HuaiSang.

Nie HuaiSang had spent the last months focusing on his own Sect, but also in contemplating what, if anything, he should do about Lan XiChen.

Lan XiChen likely expected, even desired, for him to do nothing.

But for all the suspicions that lived in the silence between them, he found he didn't want to leave his older brother's sworn brother lost in this way.

"You asked me if I lied to you and I said I didn't." He fiddled with his fan. "You have to know it's an impossible question. If you have to ask the question, then you can't trust the answer."

He finally put the fan down, set it across his lap, and held on to it with both hands.

"After my brother's death, I struggled with how to ask a similar impossible question.

"Nie MingJue died of qi deviation well before any of our ancestors did, even though he was receiving treatment that promised to keep him alive for longer than they ever did. A treatment designed by one of his sworn brothers and provided by the other."

Lan ChangYi flinched. It was his first acknowledgement of the presence of another person in his solitude.

Nie HuiaSang nodded in response to that flinch.

"I saw his death. Nie MingJue who was my brother and my sect leader in one. I loved him and I was scared of him and I was scared for him. I loved him because he was my brother who had raised me. I was scared of him because he was a terrifying individual – everyone in the world agreed on that. And I was scared for him because I had seen what the world did to individuals it was scared of.

"I was never scared of Wei WuXian the way I was scared of my brother. And I never loved Wei WuXian the way I loved my brother, either. But I liked Wei WuXian, he was my friend, and the world convinced Jiang Cheng, his own brother, to kill him. And here was my brother, my terrifying brother, dead before his time. And his two sworn brothers offering me their condolences."

Nie MingJue's death had destroyed Nie HuaiSang's world: ripping all sense of security from him and thrusting him alone into the world with the knowledge that he had to be strong and dangerous to survive, but also that to be strong or dangerous would be to arrange his own death. He had watched his brother die, no one within striking distance, and yet, he had known that it was an assassination, as much as Wei WuXian's death had been.

He hadn't known what to do or who to trust in a world without Nie MingJue. He had shaken his head and cried to the heavens: "I don't know what to do!" but received no answer other than a Nie Sect retainer bringing him a blanket to keep warm in the darkening night.

He had wrapped the blanket around himself and gone in to try to learn the management of the Nie Sect that he had never expected to inherit, had always assumed a future nephew would one day take on.

And he had hugged Nie MingJue's sworn brothers close, had laid out his problems for them to see, had asked their advice. The advice was helpful, but even more so was the chance to learn how their minds worked, to see what they considered important and what they didn't, what solutions they did or didn't recommend.

The rustle of Lan XiChen moving pulled him out of his memories.

Lan XiChen's eyes looked at him, stricken, his mouth open as if to speak but frozen as if unsure of what to say.

Nie HuaiSang bowed to him, and said, "From the Nie Sect Leader to the Lan Sect Leader, and from Nie HuaiSang to Lan XiChen, I tell you: my brother Nie MingJue has been avenged. I am content that everyone involved has faced suitable justice."

Jin GuangYao was dead and dishonored, his actions known. Any part Lan XiChen had had in Nie MingJue's death was matched by his part in Jin GuangYao's death. Nie HuaiSang would consider it even.

Lan XiChen's eyes were wide as they watched Nie HuaiSang rise from his seated position.

"I could not ask you an impossible question until I already knew and accepted the answer. I hope that one day you will return to the world and no longer need to ask such a question of me either."


End file.
